Contradiction

I'm afraid of the dead,

Death and the pain of dying late,

And yet,

I can't wait to be dead.

The religion says no,

But I can't wait to go,

Before I grow,

And face more.

I wish I would crash,

At the roundabout in a dash,

I know it's sounds rash,

But the reality is harsh.

I can't do this anymore

I hate living.